Salem Witch Trials & *Contest*! (Britney Spears’ «Toxic» Parody)



The #witches in #Salem weren’t real, but the evil that happened because of it was.

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Something’s happening in Salem
Massachusetts, has a problem
There are witches, I’ve seen them
No, it’s not fake. They are real
Us Puritans, we know that demons
They’ll steal your soul, take possession
Started with Tituba
Slave is haunting Minister’s daughter
Niece is also fraught

Elizabeth Parris and Abigail
Are barking and rolling over
Sarah Good, Goody Osburn hauled to jail
‘Cause the the girls said that both
Of them were Salem Witches
But that should be the last we hear ‘bout Salem Witches

Hundreds accused, in jail, they’re put
They wrote their names in the Devil’s book
So what if there is no proof
Women are most blamed
But also men are witches its claimed
Even dogs are framed

Could this be the stress of Salem’s divide
Between families boiling over
Puritanical pressure day and night
No, it’s much more likely that there are Salem witches
And if you are accused just claim others are witches
So many Salem witches

Hi everyone.
Cotton Mather here with a foolproof way to see if witchcraft is involved.
Simply bake a witch’s cake, feed it to a dog,
And if the dog acts possessed, you’ve got a witch.
It’s a simple recipe.

Hi everyone. Cotton Mather here with a foolproof way to see if witchcraft is involved. Simply bake a witch’s cake, feed it to a dog, and if the dog acts possessed, you’ve got a witch. It’s a simple recipe

Nineteen found guilty and hung to die
One crushed by rocks he was under
Finally, Governor Phips says alright
Maybe actually there are no Salem Witches
Trials are over now
Accused are free now
The dead’s names are cleared now
But they’re still dead now
We must remember how
This was all allowed
By frightened people, wow!

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