Coping With Infertility



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Infertility is a medical condition that can not only create more stress in our life, but even put strain on our most important relationships. There are already plenty of pressures in life. What school do you want to go to? What career do you feel is best for you? How much money will you make? When will you get married? And of course, when do you want to have children? For many (5 million people or 1 in 10 couples, so a lot of people!), there isn’t an easy answer to that question. Many try for years to have a baby, and spend tens of thousands of dollars working with doctors to get pregnant. When someone struggles with infertility, it can feel like their body has betrayed them. It can place extra financial and emotional stress on their relationship and turn the loving act of sex into a pressured, time sensitive activity. Overall know that dealing with infertility can be difficult, and however you feel is warranted and okay. Since this issue can drag on for years and really take a toll on our mental health, it’s important that we find some ways to better cope with all we are going through:
1. Acknowledge your feelings. I know I talk about this all the time, but it’s so vitally important that we tap into how we feel each and every day and notice it what comes up for us. This can help us be more mindful of our own situation and mental health. If we realize that we have been feeling more anger or exhaustion lately, then we can make sure we put more effort into our self care or take some nights off from hanging out with others.
2. Give yourself permission to feel how you feel. Try to lean into all that’s going on in your head instead of shoving it down and ignoring it. Want to scream? Cry? Want someone to hold you? Or just curl up into a ball and be left alone? Give yourself the time to express all that you feel and let it out.
3. Talk to your partner or a supportive person in your life. It’s so important that you not only have a support system around you to help you as you work through this, but dealing with infertility can take its toll on a relationship or marriage. It can cause resentment, misplaced anger, bring up feelings of inadequacy, and at times make you feel so disconnected from one another.
4. Allow yourself to grieve. Infertility can often mean dealing with miscarriage or even grieving the loss of what you thought this process would be like for you and your partner. We so often feel the urge to just keep pushing through and ignore how different our life may be from what we had planned. Giving ourselves the time to acknowledge that difference and be sad or mad about it can help us better manage this very difficult time.
5. Lastly! Take care of yourself! During times of extreme stress or upset we can neglect our basic needs. Make sure you are showering regularly, getting enough sleep, and eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full. If you feel any of these things are off or too difficult to complete, now would be a good time to reach out to a therapist.

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