I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE RIGHTS TO THE ORIGINAL SONG GASTON THAT THIS SONG IS A PARODY OF, NOR DO I OWN THE RIGHTS TO THE BACKING TRACK THAT WAS USED. ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO THE ORIGINAL WRITERS AND PERFORMERS.
Auston — Jesse Glowinsky
Leafou — Adam Jesin
Original Lyrics, Vocals, Video Production: Adam Jesin & Jesse Glowinsky
Audio Production: David Henriques
Who does that goalie think he is?
He has tangled with the wrong Leaf.
No one makes saves on Auston!
Glove side? Five hole…those usually go in…
I just couldn’t bury.
What for? Nothing helps. I’m pooched.
Who, you? Never!
Gosh it delights me to see you Auston
Shooting your favourite puck
All of the guys want to feed you Auston
Those goalies are just sitting ducks
Teammates and fans all adore you Auston
You’re everyone’s favourite Leaf!
We hope that one day you’ll be captain Auston
Our U.S. born commander in chief
No one’s slick as Auston
No one’s quick as Auston
No one handles their favourite stick like Auston
‘Cause we’ve waited so long to bring Stanley
Back to the streets of Toron-to
You can ask any Mitch. Jake, or Kadri
And they’ll tell you who’s team they prefer to be on
No one wins like Auston
Tapes their shins like Auston
In a fidget-spin match no one spins like Auston
Yes my fidget spinner is exhilarating!
My what a guy that Auston!
So go bar down and wear a suit
The boys all agree that you are such a beaut
No one snips like Auston
Lets it rip like Auston
No one looks out the window on trips like Auston
I’m especially good at my power skating!
Bauer skates for Auston!
When I was a lad I shot 400 pucks
Every morning to help me get lean
And now that I’m grown I shoot 500 pucks
So I’m roughly the size of Sundin!
No one scores like Auston
Works the boards like Auston
No one wins rookie scoring awards like Auston
And the Maple Leafs soon will be dominating
My what a guy!
Look at him go, that’s our guy!
Oh what a guy that Auston